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Fear Has Kept Me Satisfied With "Good Enough"



The summer before 5th grade started I was sick to my stomach about going back to school.  I was sick to my stomach because I knew that in the afternoons when my classmate who had been designated as "milk fetcher" for snack time would leave to go get the little cartons of milk I would worry about them being abducted until they got back.  Like, I would be physically ill with worry until they returned.
Suffice it to say I have had a fear problem for a long time. Since fear made me sick I tried lots of, often unhealthy, ways to ease the pain. Unfortunately this gave fear a tremendous amount of authority over my life. I will say, I had (pre-four children) pretty killer abs from keeping my stomach muscles tense all the time...so I had that going for me. What we fear takes a place of authority over our lives and, unfortunately, it totally ruled over my life for a long time. Seriously, really monumental decisions were made out of fear instead of faith-and it has cost me. Being hypersensitive to the feeling of fear I had always wondered why we are taught to fear God on the one hand (Proverbs 9:10), but believe that perfect love casts out all fear on the other (1 John 4:18). Think of it this way, if I’m driving down Highway 10 and a blizzard descends upon the Midwest, that blizzard has a certain authority over my decisions at that point.  Why?  I fear it.  I don’t want to go off the road, I don’t want to hit another car, I don’t want to get stuck and freeze to death.  The blizzard demands attention.


If I fear, say, money, it has the same kind of authority.  I don’t want to be broke, I don’t want to tell my kids they can’t go to camp this year, I don’t want uncertainty.  Those fears have authority, they demand attention, and if I don’t submit them to the Lord I will start to make decisions based on fear instead of faith.   Now the Bible is clear about responsibility on financial matters. I’m not talking about quitting my job on a whim because it’s what I want to do--I’m talking about the decision that we have to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit into the unknown versus following our fear into complacency.  What we fear will become what we worship, and many of us in the western world are worshiping a god of “good enough.” What has that looked like in my life? The fear of humans for one-- Fear of disappointing others, fear of offending others, fear of making people sad or mad or anything less than absolutely satisfied with me. And the fear of being uncomfortable for another-- Being embarrassed if I step out and then fail, being broke because I took a career risk and it didn't pay off, or even simple things like being cold or hungry. All that has keep me from bigger things. What I do now; sing in church, write on my little blog, pray with people, and teach at our local high school is good enough. I am good at those things, and others approve of them. But the truth is I am called to do some other things; publish two books I have been working on, public speaking, and speaking out against bigotry in the Church--that I have NOT done because I don't want to ruffle feathers. The fear of not being liked, starting an argument, or not "knowing my stuff" has demanded attention away from the cross, and away from obedience.
Lord-show me practical ways to identify and root out fear in my life that has built up a place of authority in your place. Fill me with your power, your assurance, like you promised in 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control."

 Message me for prayer loves, we are all in this together-
Briana













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