First off, you've gotta do what works for your family as far as rules and expectations. Having said that there are a few things that we just all need to start doing for our kids regardless of how we feel about the matter. Technology is super powerful, and we are our children's buffer between them and the world of tech. For the same reason we don't give our kids bottomless access to Mountain Dew, we limit their consumption of tech, and fully prevent their access to certain things on the internet.
Rule Number One-NO ELECTRONICS IN BEDROOMS (or the bathroom for that matter). No exceptions. No tvs, no cellphones, no reading tablets, nothing. I always tell the kids that it's not that I don't trust them, its that I don't trust satan. It's far easier to have a blanket rule of "no" for this one than to mess around with bylaws. We have a family computer in our living room and a laptop for whatever it is they want to do online-they can do that in the living room. If the manchild wants to play Xbox with his buddies and kill zombies, he can do it in the living room.
The first issue is obviously predators, people who ask for pictures or want to text in the middle of the night. The second issue is them being able to look at stuff we don't approve of that could get by the filters. Third, I am a passionate sleep warrior--KIDS NEED MORE SLEEP THAN THEY ARE GETTING! Literally all of the studies show that devices even in the room disrupt our sleep cycles, and many kids I have in my high school classrooms report having them under their pillows! I had a student tell me last week about a group that he plays games with online. They all set their alarms for 2 a.m. and then wake up to game together...in the middle of the night...then he comes to my room tired, crabby, and borderline violent. Protect your kids' from what flies in front of their faces, and when, by keeping devices out of the bedroom.
Rule Number Two-ACCOUNTABILITY--I need to be able to check the history on any program, browser, etc, at any time of any day. Again, I'm not assuming my children are doing anything wrong but I'm not ignorant of the lure of the world either, and no I do not trust other people's kids. We had a situation last year at the school where a student faked an account to make it look like another student had encouraged hi to commit suicide. Because Student B saved all messages he was able to show that hadn't happened and the account was fake. If my child is accused of something, or is the victim of something (which unfortunately happens all the time) I want to have the browser history to show what really happened.
Rule Number Three-CONSENT--I tell my children that they have to have the permission of anyone they take a picture of if they intend to use the picture for sharing, making meme, or for personal entertainment. Just because my son can take a picture of a girl he likes in math class and look at it later doesn't mean he should. Taking or sharing a picture of someone for the purpose of making fun of them is NEVER ok, whether that person gives them consent or not it is not ok with us at home. This is an area where our rules at home are beyond the letter of the law, which brings up good conversations about whats legal versus what is ethical.
TOOLS WE USE
Tool Number One--Verizon Smart Family
We use a timer through Verizon to limit the amount of time the kids can spend on social media each week. They can earn more time by doing certain things (maintaining good grades) and they can lose time by being little buttheads. This is probably one of the greatest incentives we have besides money to encourage good habits.
We also have a pretty hardcore content blocker for 18 plus stuff (pornhub, etc). This is through Verizon Smart Family too, and it is pretty good about tattling on inappropriate stuff that pops up (Snapchat is a notorious stinker because so many of the Snapstories from Hollywood have boobs hanging out all over the place). That being said, perps are always on the offense when it comes to tech, devising new ways around these programs, which is why we also don't allow devices in bedrooms and bathrooms.
You can't actually see the content of text messages sent and received, because of privacy laws, which is why we tell the kids we better be able to pick up the phone and see any text thread at any time otherwise they can kiss their devices goodbye.
Tool Number Two--Common Sense Media and Tom's Guide for video games
These are two places you can get honest ratings (besides from the games themselves which is an obvious conflict of interest). Keep in mind many of the games, like Grand Theft Auto for example, have super duper naughty extensions that can be purchased online. There is an extension for GTA that has the player hire a prostitute, engage in sex acts with her (shows everything with sound) and then kill her. There is some seriously satanic stuff out there and unless the kids are playing games in the living room or with heavy tech controls it is very difficult to make sure they aren't being barraged by this evil.
Tool Number Three--Other Parents
I cannot emphasize this enough! We regularly ask other parents what their kids are into online, what social media apps they are using, what my own kids are sending their kids, etc.. There is an app right now called TikTok, that's kind of like the new Vine, that a lot of parents are worried about and I don't know if Verizon will pick up on naughty stuff in there yet so I've just said so far if they are going to be on it it has to be in the living room when we're around. I wouldn't even know about it, though, if my girlfriend hadn't brought it up on our walk the other day.
I'm sure that reading this, especially all at once, makes it seem like we are helicopter parents. In the area of technology, yes we sure as hell are. I'm not scared of it by any means, but my children are the most important people entrusted to my care, and the tech world can be brutal. I've also had the benefit of working with hundreds of kids everyday who have given me PLENTY of reasons to be a stickler in this arena!
The kids are going to be ok, we are all in this together =)
Anything ya'll do I left out that works really well for your family?
Rule Number One-NO ELECTRONICS IN BEDROOMS (or the bathroom for that matter). No exceptions. No tvs, no cellphones, no reading tablets, nothing. I always tell the kids that it's not that I don't trust them, its that I don't trust satan. It's far easier to have a blanket rule of "no" for this one than to mess around with bylaws. We have a family computer in our living room and a laptop for whatever it is they want to do online-they can do that in the living room. If the manchild wants to play Xbox with his buddies and kill zombies, he can do it in the living room.
The first issue is obviously predators, people who ask for pictures or want to text in the middle of the night. The second issue is them being able to look at stuff we don't approve of that could get by the filters. Third, I am a passionate sleep warrior--KIDS NEED MORE SLEEP THAN THEY ARE GETTING! Literally all of the studies show that devices even in the room disrupt our sleep cycles, and many kids I have in my high school classrooms report having them under their pillows! I had a student tell me last week about a group that he plays games with online. They all set their alarms for 2 a.m. and then wake up to game together...in the middle of the night...then he comes to my room tired, crabby, and borderline violent. Protect your kids' from what flies in front of their faces, and when, by keeping devices out of the bedroom.
Rule Number Two-ACCOUNTABILITY--I need to be able to check the history on any program, browser, etc, at any time of any day. Again, I'm not assuming my children are doing anything wrong but I'm not ignorant of the lure of the world either, and no I do not trust other people's kids. We had a situation last year at the school where a student faked an account to make it look like another student had encouraged hi to commit suicide. Because Student B saved all messages he was able to show that hadn't happened and the account was fake. If my child is accused of something, or is the victim of something (which unfortunately happens all the time) I want to have the browser history to show what really happened.
Rule Number Three-CONSENT--I tell my children that they have to have the permission of anyone they take a picture of if they intend to use the picture for sharing, making meme, or for personal entertainment. Just because my son can take a picture of a girl he likes in math class and look at it later doesn't mean he should. Taking or sharing a picture of someone for the purpose of making fun of them is NEVER ok, whether that person gives them consent or not it is not ok with us at home. This is an area where our rules at home are beyond the letter of the law, which brings up good conversations about whats legal versus what is ethical.
TOOLS WE USE
Tool Number One--Verizon Smart Family
We use a timer through Verizon to limit the amount of time the kids can spend on social media each week. They can earn more time by doing certain things (maintaining good grades) and they can lose time by being little buttheads. This is probably one of the greatest incentives we have besides money to encourage good habits.
We also have a pretty hardcore content blocker for 18 plus stuff (pornhub, etc). This is through Verizon Smart Family too, and it is pretty good about tattling on inappropriate stuff that pops up (Snapchat is a notorious stinker because so many of the Snapstories from Hollywood have boobs hanging out all over the place). That being said, perps are always on the offense when it comes to tech, devising new ways around these programs, which is why we also don't allow devices in bedrooms and bathrooms.
You can't actually see the content of text messages sent and received, because of privacy laws, which is why we tell the kids we better be able to pick up the phone and see any text thread at any time otherwise they can kiss their devices goodbye.
Tool Number Two--Common Sense Media and Tom's Guide for video games
These are two places you can get honest ratings (besides from the games themselves which is an obvious conflict of interest). Keep in mind many of the games, like Grand Theft Auto for example, have super duper naughty extensions that can be purchased online. There is an extension for GTA that has the player hire a prostitute, engage in sex acts with her (shows everything with sound) and then kill her. There is some seriously satanic stuff out there and unless the kids are playing games in the living room or with heavy tech controls it is very difficult to make sure they aren't being barraged by this evil.
Tool Number Three--Other Parents
I cannot emphasize this enough! We regularly ask other parents what their kids are into online, what social media apps they are using, what my own kids are sending their kids, etc.. There is an app right now called TikTok, that's kind of like the new Vine, that a lot of parents are worried about and I don't know if Verizon will pick up on naughty stuff in there yet so I've just said so far if they are going to be on it it has to be in the living room when we're around. I wouldn't even know about it, though, if my girlfriend hadn't brought it up on our walk the other day.
I'm sure that reading this, especially all at once, makes it seem like we are helicopter parents. In the area of technology, yes we sure as hell are. I'm not scared of it by any means, but my children are the most important people entrusted to my care, and the tech world can be brutal. I've also had the benefit of working with hundreds of kids everyday who have given me PLENTY of reasons to be a stickler in this arena!
The kids are going to be ok, we are all in this together =)
Anything ya'll do I left out that works really well for your family?
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