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Doubt and the "I Wanna Wanna" Prayer

I want to share with you a prayer that changed my relationship with the Lord forever.

In my last post, rather boldly titled "What is the Meaning of Life?” I detailed the story of God opening my eyes to what this life is all about.  I was in my mid teens and the power had gone out at our little house out in the country.  Without music to listen to or TV to watch I resorted to reading.  I don't know where it came from but there was a book in our basement titled How to be a Christian Without Being Religious.  It explained the gospel to me in a way I had never heard before.  You can read that post here.  

In the many conversations (often late at night around a campfire or on a looooong car ride) with people I've had the good fortune to spend time with, one of the things I hear over and over is, "I just don't know..." or "I can't get over the question that if God is so good why do bad things happen to children?"

And many more really good questions and thoughts that go through all of our minds when we lay awake at night.  When I write "all of our minds" I am including myself as well.  I am a thinker, a doubter, a skeptic, and someone who is deeply angered by injustice in the world (particularly when when that injustice involves children.....).  

I want you to know that those thoughts and questions do not scare God.  Yes He tells us to come to Him believing like a child (Matthew 18, Mark 10) and yes without faith it is impossible to serve Him or please Him (Romans 10, Hebrews 11).  BUT that doesn't mean 100 percent faith is where we all start from!  Jesus' own disciples; men who were willing to follow Him and eventually die for him, struggled with doubt, with anger, with the same big questions.  

Consider Peter.  He had seen, with his own eyes, Jesus perform miracle after miracle, and yet when he was called out to walk on the water with that same Jesus, his doubt overtook him and went down like a sack of potatoes!  Wait, do potatoes float?  He went down like a heavy object anyway.

Consider Thomas.  The dude's nickname is Doubting Thomas!  

Consider in Mark 9 The father who brought his sick child to Jesus and asked him to heal the boy "if you can." 
23“ ‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”
24Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome          my unbelief!”
In other words, "I do believe, kinda, but I wanna believe way more!" 

Which bring me to the the "I wanna wanna prayer"

For any of these thoughts/questions/emotions that you have felt are inappropriate to bring before God there is a prayer for that.  I call it the "I wanna wanna prayer."  If you are not even at a point of wanting to know about this God stuff but you also don't want to lie awake at night... wondering....this is the prayer for you.  I'm sure this was gifted to me by another believer at some point and it is amazing.  


Follow with me through a couple examples:

"Lord I don't know if I can believe in you.  I've seen many things
in my life that make me question if there is a God.  
It just doesn't seem true to me.
I don't even want to think about it.
But I want to want to know you.
I want to want to have peace.
I want to want to serve a good God.
Move my heart."

OR

"God if you are real I've gotta say I'm mad at you.
Because either you can't fix the world
or you won't.
And I don't understand why "God" would do either of those things
I want to want to understand why bad things to happen."

Moment of honesty: I have prayed both of those prayers.  God has honored both of those prayers.  Come to Him and just be honest about where you are at.  He is not afraid of your questions, he is not afraid of your anger.  He will meet you where you are.

Matthew 7

7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though your hearts can do evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"









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