New Years Resolution: Saying "No" to Myself

It is the day I've been waiting for.  The day after Christmas.

That might sound weird to some but others probably know the exact feeling I'm talking about.  All of the things I've told myself that I would do, or get serious about, "after the Christmas busy is done," I no longer have an excuse to avoid.

The Main Thing I have been neglecting?  The word "no" to my own self.  We're not talking your average seasonal decadence here.  Mine has been a years-long yo-yo between over-indulgence to full out gluttony.  I am a huge fan of the "eat, drink and be merry" plan of action.

Clarification--there is nothing wrong with eating, drinking and being merry for many people.  But for me?  Well, read on =)

THE WHY

This past year has been strange.  It has been pretty brutal in some ways and of course beautiful in others.  If I had to pick a phrase that could serve as a wrap-up it would be "eye-opening."  The Lord has been so good to walk me through a few life-changing truths in 2018.  The main thing is that I have a word spoken over my life and I have been unintentionally allowing fluff to distract me.  Even worse, some of the fluff, like drinking, had been working to completely destroy the word spoken over me.  For me any glass of booze is half-full of fear, anxiety and resignation.  I know I am meant to teach, write and tell stories-mostly for other women.  

All of the excess is a distraction from my purpose at best, 

and a destroyer of my purpose at worst.

This has nothing to do with my weight or how I look or how I feel.  I mean yeah, there are pretty obvious and well-documented benefits of self-control.  For me it has everything to do with saying no to the clutter, the fluff, of life, so that there is room for the real good stuff.  I'll be completely honest; self control is my least favorite fruit of the spirit to eat.  I mean, I totally appreciate it in other people, and benefit from others being more self-controlled than me (like my husband for example) but to cultivate it in myself...uffda.

Unfortunately this has led to a lack of self-control cropping up in most areas of my life.  Let me put it this way-if your dad saw someone wearing this shirt:

then went online and found it and ordered it for you for no reason in particular other than that he felt it's "totally you" then you might need to start watching your language.  And by you I mean me.  I've always bucked in this area because I refuse to be a different person around different groups of people-I want to be honest and open and transparent.  BUT couldn't I be both transparent and watch my mouth?

In scripture there is a fun cocktail (sketchy pun intended) of several things dealing with self-control that are often found together.  After doing some research in these areas over the last two weeks,  lemme tell ya, I feel this list at a molecular level.

Gluttony--I have been known to leave a Chinese buffet after gorging and walk to the grocery store next door to buy coffee and chocolate-dipped peanut butter cookies.

Slothfulness--I once programmed my phone to sync with our tv because I didn't want to get up and get the remote.  Literally the last four weeks I have been sitting most of the time.  On a lazy-boy.  Or in my case, lazy-girl.

Overspending--I.love.shopping.  It's probably one of the only ways that walking actually sounds appealing.

Sexual immorality--as in the reason why Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed, they had insatiable appetites--we'll keep this PG but at least there's one on the list I can feel better about.

Loose-tongueness (apparently not a word)--see shirt from my dad

Drunkenness--We don't need to deep dive into this particular topic in this particular post but suffice it to say, alcohol=me likey.


I think of it like being stripped back down to factory settings.  I wasn't born "needing" five cups of sugary coffee a day.  I wasn't born with a rum and coke in one hand and a credit card in the other. From all reports (my poor mom) I had a built-in penchant to run around and exert energy just for fun.

What would happen if I peeled back some layers 
and reverted to toddler Briana?

What if I only ate when I was hungry?

What if I stopped eating when I was full?

What would happen if I drank water?

Get rid of the fluff so that there is room for the good stuff.

What if I only purchased things we need as a family (and no, an industrial popcorn machine is not a need)?  How would the tummy and anxiety respond to a walk outside every day?  How would my relationships with coworkers change if I stopped short of dropping the F-bomb at staff meetings?


SO NOW WHAT?  I always start out a quest to change with prayer and worship.  I thank the Lord for His patience with me and for calling me deeper into this amazing gift of being able to have relationship with the Living God.  Then I do some reading/research.  These are four of the books in my rotation right now having to do with saying "no" to myself in the areas of wasting time (The Quest by Beth Moore), eating right for ulcerative colitis (Breaking the Vicious Cycle by Elaine Gottschall), learning how to purchase decisively (The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo), and continuing in my journey with sobriety (This Naked Mind by Annie Grace).

The hubs and I also recently listed to this sermon by Robert Morris, pastor of Gateway Church in Southlake, Texas.  It is titled "Glorify God in Your Body."  He does an awesome job diving into the scripture on all this and being honest with his own struggles.

But, in the daily reality that is life, it's going to be a much larger overhaul than a typical New Year's resolution.

I just keep reminding myself that being tempted isn't the problem:  

Saying yes to the temptation is the problem.

And as I die to self I become less so that He will become greater.  And that is a MUCH better life.